Dear Church,
This past Sunday I proclaimed that Jesus had set us free from slavery to the fear of death, and I indicated that much of the anti-democratic chicanery we’re experiencing presently in our country is due to the fear of death. Here are 5 practices I’m committed to as a way to live into this freedom from death Christ won for us in his incarnation:
1) Take dominion of my body.
For me this means to become aware of what Resmaa Menakem calls “the body’s six intelligences”. They are: Vibrations, Images, Meanings, Behaviors (impulses, urges), Affect (emotions), Sensations – or VIMBAS. Learning to tend to, inhabit, be at home in (lots of metaphors work here) my body helps me to know when I’m feeling anxious, triggered, reactive, angry, threatened, panicked, etc.
These sensations need to be discerned but they are important info- alerts on my dashboard- that I need to pay attention to. This paying attention to – so I can take dominion of – my body helps me take responsibility for my own trauma so I don’t/won’t export it onto others. It also helps me remember that my body is a source of power and that power can be used for love or to incite fear. How can my body an instrument of love today for the sake of others?
2) Go where the grace is.
One benefit of taking dominion of my body is that I can resist or repudiate spending my energy and time in places that are open, accepting, beneficial, fruitful, vital for overcoming the fear of death. One of the disciplines I live into daily is to not argue with people who aren’t looking to learn (I learned this habit from Jesus!). Rather – where is there openness, opportunity, receptivity, alignment, need that my body and time and energy and affection are welcomed.
If I can’t avoid it I’ll engage where I don’t think there is much grace (i.e. openness), but I no longer prioritize or value trying to change people’s minds or getting into futile arguments. Our time is too holy to spend it unwisely, casting pearls before swines and such. This means I have to: build new coalitions, learn new skills, join new groups, get more accustomed to failure as I learn to do things I’m not good at, etc.
3) Renounce the fear of death.
This may seem like the overarching theme here- and I guess it could be- but what I have in mind is more: what desire or motivation in me is predicated on seeing the world as though Jesus isn’t risen from the death, that I belong to New Creation, that all things on heaven and earth are mine, that my own suffering/death isn’t the worst thing that could happen to me today?
Some implications of this for me: I renounce physical violence as a means of getting my way, I renounce treating resources as scarce or people as obstacles/competition to flourishing, I renounce responding to evil people with anything but love, I renounce relegating love to some kind of abstract emotion or sentiment. I can oppose MAGA without scapegoating them; I can oppose racist people without treating them the way they treat migrants. I can oppose misogyny and homophobia without seeking to punish or violate others civil or human rights.
4) Unlearn habits of abuse.
So much of what comes out as the ‘fear of death’ in me are patterns or habits or adaptations due to my trauma. So for instance: i grew up poor, in a family system that dealt with generational poverty trauma. Another example: I grew up in an anxious family system of abuse whereby everyone was primarily concerned with making sure ‘the person at the top’ was comfortable and ok. So we placated and pacified the angry person, taking responsibility for their emotional reactions by over functioning and trying hard to perform to control others.
How does this relate to our current political climate? Those who are in charge are making threats, demanding and relying on the benefit of the doubt as though they are ‘honest actors’ who aren’t manipulative and abusive. But – what I’ve had to unlearn is- giving the benefit of the doubt to dishonest and abusive people isn’t good for me or them. I have to learn how to hold powerful people accountable by not participating in their lies. I have to learn how to place responsibility and blame where it is due.
So I learn to reject, for instance, “MAGA is only in power because Democrats wanted to play identity politics” as a victim blaming tactic to displace the responsibility of millions of people a- voting for a convicted sex predator and felon instead of b- finding someone who wasn’t a megalomaniac narcissist fascist and instead b- blamed ‘the other side’ for listening to racial and gender minorities about how our culture is inhospitable to them.
We can disagree about identity politics (its merits, benefits, how it works, etc) *without* blaming those who care about that with why MAGA is in power. This is another part of repudiating habits of abuse: it’s common in abusive systems to blame those who endure the abuse for their own abuse. I.e. “if you just didn’t raise your voice” or “If you remember to pick up your clothes” or “You know how he likes to be on time” as the reason the survivor is enduring the abuse. But being late doesn’t justify violence, beloved. And disagreement about how much we should pay in taxes- or- what children should read as a part of the school curriculum doesn’t justify a violent anti-democratic takeover of our country.
5) Learn to be an enemy.
This is a big one for me because I don’t like not being liked- and- for years I’ve lived in a position where I could make almost everyone like me. But – if we are to take the side of the marginalized and oppressed those who are harming them *won’t like it*. Jesus was hated because he took sides. He became an enemy to those who were committed to injustice; he didn’t make enemies but enemies made him. How to Have an Enemy by Melissa Florer-Bixler is a good book that helped me see that loving others will lead to some seeing you as an enemy. Jesus had people angry with him constantly because of his concern for justice. May we learn how to be rejected and despised for the right reasons: because our love got us in good trouble.
The fear of death would have us attack and vilify each other in order to achieve the promise of the good life. But Jesus has opened the way in his human body for us to be present with God right here, right now, and learn how to suffer in love for the sake of others. I pray for our courage and faith in these days ahead, that death would meet its defeat on a moment to moment basis as we learn to live in love together.
God’s kindness and strength guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus,
Fr. Matt T
